Disclaimer –

Derek's work has been registered at the U.S. Library of Congress, so it would be a terrible financial idea to plagiarize or use any of the material found on this website for your own purposes. Nevertheless, enjoy the writing!


Plot: A writer is commissioned by his agent to write a play in two days, and he agrees only if she gets him laid and a monkey to do the actual writing. When he arrives home to find a call girl on his couch and a monkey in his room, he has to decide between living up to his part of the bargain or discovering true love.

One of my favorite pieces of all time, this play came about because Bryan had told me about a competition that might interest me. The problem was it gave me just over one full day to write a one-act and get it in the mail. Gently ‘borrowing’ Charlie Kaufmann’s idea from Adaptation of putting the author into the script, I set out and wrote this play in 5 hours. Also, my tradition of including the word “monkey” into every script I’ve ever written was simple because, by the terms of the competition, the main focus of the piece had to be about an animal. That made my job much simpler. (Note: the competition did not choose my play, and I feel that that was their loss)

Personal ratings:
Intelligence: 7
Silliness: 7
Characters: 5
Marketability: 7
Overall: 9

Click here to download Deadline as a PDF (132k)