In keeping with what has become a seemingly annual tradition, Derek has kept with the ways of the Neanderthal (which has been, of late, one of his career aspirations) by deciding to leave his home once again. A mere two hours after seeing the apartment (and only sixteen hours after first hearing about the apartment), Derek has already made a verbal contract with the landlord, Robert. Although no official lease has been signed, the transaction is likely to take place later in the week.
Derek was first tipped off to the apartment by his good friend Sal Bones (real named changed because she, Susan, requested "funky anonymity"). She lives downstairs from the aforementioned landlord, Robert, who is moving out because he has bought a house. The apartment is a remarkably spacious 2BR apartment with good amenities, good locale, good access to public transport, and good lovin' (three beautiful women live downstairs)
Upon doing research of his new apartment, which is in picturesque(esque) Elmwood Park NJ, Derek came to a startling realization. Not counting college, where he would move as frequently as once per fortnight, Derek has moved 5 times in the last 8 years. And according to Google maps, the total number of miles traversed in this move is a scant 3.3 miles from his current residence. In fact, if you were to draw dots connecting his houses on that same map, you'd draw a pentagram, you sick sick people. But the total miles of all of his consummate moves would still be less than 40 miles. Apparently, as much as Derek derides Northern New Jersey, he likes it well enough to be silent during his imprisonment there, and even extol its virtues in his song That's How We Do It (In the Suburbs)
Although details are, as per usual, sketchy at this time, it is likely that Derek will begin his move into his new digs around October 1st, and will likely not completely settle into the new place until well after he's already moved out of it. Details will be here first, if there's not here instead. Or here. Or possibly even here.
Derek was first tipped off to the apartment by his good friend Sal Bones (real named changed because she, Susan, requested "funky anonymity"). She lives downstairs from the aforementioned landlord, Robert, who is moving out because he has bought a house. The apartment is a remarkably spacious 2BR apartment with good amenities, good locale, good access to public transport, and good lovin' (three beautiful women live downstairs)
Upon doing research of his new apartment, which is in picturesque(esque) Elmwood Park NJ, Derek came to a startling realization. Not counting college, where he would move as frequently as once per fortnight, Derek has moved 5 times in the last 8 years. And according to Google maps, the total number of miles traversed in this move is a scant 3.3 miles from his current residence. In fact, if you were to draw dots connecting his houses on that same map, you'd draw a pentagram, you sick sick people. But the total miles of all of his consummate moves would still be less than 40 miles. Apparently, as much as Derek derides Northern New Jersey, he likes it well enough to be silent during his imprisonment there, and even extol its virtues in his song That's How We Do It (In the Suburbs)
Although details are, as per usual, sketchy at this time, it is likely that Derek will begin his move into his new digs around October 1st, and will likely not completely settle into the new place until well after he's already moved out of it. Details will be here first, if there's not here instead. Or here. Or possibly even here.