This may be the biggest leak so far unearthed on the rumors page here at www.esoderek.com. For nearly seven full months now, Derek and Ashley have been tight-lipped and strong-armed (not to mention west-butted) about releasing the name of their unborn child. They have gone so far as to naming him a variety of non-commital nicknames: Smacky, Gummy Bear, The Ninja... So far, though, there has never been the slightest inclination as to what the complete name of the baby will be.
Our scoopers have dug deeper than ever before, using tactics that have been considered too despicable for paparazzi and, worse yet, "slightly unorthodox" for political strategists. That is right, our scoopers have lowered themselves so far, the only place they are welcome with open arms is right here. That, and they work for free. That helps. The name of their first child has been decided, and it is Jackson Lucas Sonderfan.
A source close to Ashley (no further than nine meters at any time) has revealed the reason for the name Jackson. "It started as a joke, really. One day, Derek pointed out that when Smacky ages, he may not like the immaturity of Smacky. He suggested the more mature sound of Smackson. Ashley, never one to be outdone by a silly idea, added the full name of Smackson Jackson to it, with the possibility of adding a superfluous Action to the beggining. What would result would be the totally kick-ass Action
Smackson Jackson." It appears that, in just saying it enough, it seems to have stuck.
Our scoopers were not able to ascertain why Lucas was used as the middle name, as many other middle names were suggested: Devin, Sebastian, Shea, and the ill-fated Toggle Bolt. One disc golf enthusiast, speaking on the condition of being Dave McHale, pointed out that the newest member of the Sonderfan family will have the initials JLS, a disc that Derek uses quite often in disc golf. Speaking of Derek, Dave also pointed out that Ashley must be a saint to put up with his obsession with having "practical initials."
Once they found out it would not be a girl and they would not be able to use their easily-agreed upon name of _____ _____ ____________, the battle began to find something male both Ashley and Derek could agree on. This was a classic example of the strength of their relationship, having been able to find compromise. Our scoopers have determined that if they were to have another boy, they would officially be sunk. It perhaps is a good thing, then, that that is not part of their plans.
One last note: just because Jackson Lucas Sonderfan has been rumored to be named, that does not mean that the Baby-Naming Contest is done! Nope, that contest will continue until December 31, 2008. You can put in your entry (first, middle, last, or any combination of all three names) by clickingHERE
. Enter as often as you would like. The winner will receive a copy ofElla Minnow Pea
by Mark Dunn.