January 26, 2010
The Funkwatt
Date: ~2000
Location: Wyckoff, NJ
Description: People are always attached to their first cars. Ours was no exception. Purchased just before the Blizzard of ’96 for $777, this 1980 Monty Carlo exuded just as much charm as it did oil. Somewhere along the line, it picked up the nickname The Funkwatt, a term that forever conjures up images of rust and the inability to accelerate. It had a KILLER turning radius, though. The Funkwatt had a storied life – lasting for more than 4 years under our tutelage with only minor repair work (and, of course, near weekly addition of motor oil, which was leaking for most of the time we had the car.) It was later sold by Mitch to our friend Jeff, who purchased it for $1 (and I believe he had to buy Mitch a CD.) Jeff briefly drove it until he got a new car, at which point he got rid of the insurance on the Funkwatt. His plan to keep it was to keep parking it in hidden spots throughout Hackensack, hoping the police wouldn’t find it. When they first did, they impounded it and Jeff, not wanting a legacy to die, paid about 250% of his initial investment to have it unimpounded. When it was impounded a second time weeks later, he simply couldn’t justify the expense and The Funkwatt was laid to rest in a cube.