Full Name: Tomi Lahren
Nickname(s): White Power Barbie, Potatoes McGillicutty
Screen Name: ItCantBeBecauseOfMyPersonality
Claim to Fame: being a young female voice of constitutional conservatism; being the 8th blondest anchor on Fox News; my club foot
Current Residence: Steve Doocy’s weekend planner
Pets? a shih tzu that is truly a small part of me, so it’s really a piece of shih tzu
What are you reading now? blogs that I already agree with (leisure); Mein Kampf (for inspiration)
Favorite fast food place/restaurant? What’s the opposite of a taco truck?
What’s your favorite game? the Blame Game
Favorite song? Kid Rock’s entire oeuvre; Ted Nugent’s entire oeuvre; The Chicken Dance
Favorite sexual position? abstinence
Favorite drink (non-alcoholic)? Colin Kaepernick’s tears
Favorite drink (alcoholic)? Lahrengitis (Black Haus + 151 + peppermint schnapps until I can no longer talk)
Favorite smell? my riding stables; the inside of a Rolls Royce
If you were a crayon, what color would you be? white bread
What’s under your bed? which one, the four-poster, the California king, the divan, the trundle, the loft, or the chaise longue?
What’s the first thing you think of in the morning? “Where did I put my tiki torch?”
Where is the best place you have ever been? the blogosphere; the troposphere; a screening of the movie “Sphere”. What? I like spheres.
Worst place? France
Pet peeves? compassion
What would you say is your best characteristic? my ability to ignore criticism of any kind; the way I can deflect the question ‘what is the appropriate way black people should protest?'
Worst characteristic? I get drunk off a single wine spritzer; my idea of a hunk is a single Wolf Blitzer
If you could meet someone, dead or alive, who would it be? Jesus Christ, unless he’s dark skinned, in which case the guy from Infowars who yells all the time
Do you believe in UFOs? No. If UFOs existed, there’s no way Donald Trump wouldn’t have let us all know about it over a series of 400 tweets
What did you do on your last birthday? got my learner’s permit
If you could have any job, what would it be? flipping burgers at McDonald’s because if minimum wages go all the way up to a livable $15/hr rate, I could retire in, like, a month
What is the most important thing in life? my opinion
What is your greatest fear? a world where all races and belief systems live in harmony
Have you ever been in love? *puts down the mirror* What? I didn’t catch that last question.
What is your motto? Be true to yourself. If that gets poor ratings, then just say some crazy, heartless shit
What would you like to be remembered for? 100 years. *giggles* I have no soul.
A Sperm Betsy Ross Bryan Fenkart Cleopatra Dr. Seuss Edmund Dudley e.e. cummings Fats Gandhi God Gordon Henry VIII Iago from Othello Jaws Jessica Simpson The Jolly Green Giant Jose Canseco Madonna Mario Mike Tyson Mr. Potato Head Pele The Phillie Phanatic Pluto Ponce De Leon Superman Tiger Woods The Tooth Fairy