Nickname(s): Bash Brother #2, 'Roids, Douche
Screen Name: Tattletale4040
Claim to Fame: Hitting a home run with my head
Current Residence: Certainly not Obscurity
Pets? Greg Anderson, and a guinea pig named Balco
What are you reading now? My own book, Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids, Smash Hits, and How Baseball Got Big, for the 294th time
Favorite fast food place/restaurant? The pretzel stand at Fenway. No, not that one - the other one
What’s your favorite game? Kill the Man with the Career
Favorite song? "I'm an Asshole" by Dennis Leary
Favorite sexual position? As long as I hit a home run, it doesn't much matter. Ole!!!
Favorite drink (non-alcoholic)? Juice
Favorite drink (alcoholic)? Juice w/ bourbon
Favorite smell? Profits
If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Joseph McCarthy Red
What’s under your bed? One elephant for every fiber of morality I possess
What’s the first thing you think of in the morning? "This impotence thing is KILLING me!"
Where is the best place you have ever been? The Baseball Hall of Fame (visitor)
Worst place? France
Pet peeves? living a lie, letting others live a lie, not making a profit from letting others live a lie
What would you say is your best characteristic? My twin brother Ozzie
Worst characteristic? My hair
If you could meet someone, dead or alive, who would it be? My old manager, Kevin Kennedy, to ask him WHY THE HELL he let me pitch the 8th inning in that Sox game in 1993 when I asked him. Seriously, that has to rank among to dumbest managerial decisions in the history of baseball
Do you believe in UFOs? No, those are baseballs I've hit that still haven't come down
What did you do on your last birthday? Got traded to a different A ball team
If you could have any job, what would it be? A sock puppet
What is the most important thing in life? Never slipping from the spotlight, no matter who you must crush to stay there
Have you ever been in love? Yes, but then he had to go and break Maris' record and he had no time for me anymore
What is your motto? Cheating is fine if you admit to it LONG after the fact
What would you like to be remembered for? My stint on The Surreal Life 5. That and the fact that I'm one of only 6 players in Major League History to hit a fair ball that got stuck in a stadium obstruction. OLE!!!!
Other Surveys:
A Sperm Betsy Ross Bryan Fenkart Cleopatra Dr. Seuss Edmund Dudley e.e. cummings Fats Gandhi God Gordon Henry VIII Iago from Othello Jaws Jessica Simpson The Jolly Green Giant Madonna Mario Mike Tyson Mr. Potato Head Pele The Phillie Phanatic Pluto Ponce De Leon Superman Tiger Woods The Tooth Fairy