Full Name: Jessica Simpson
Nickname(s): Einstein, Boobs McGillicutty
Screen Name: TollstoiFan99
Claim to Fame: My business savvy and inconceivably low IQ
Current Residence: On TV
Pets? None – I don’t like to be one-upped
What are you reading now? “Fox in Socks” by Dr. Seuss
Favorite fast food place/restaurant? I cook all my own Sir Loins steaks, thank you
What’s your favorite game? Counting
Favorite song? “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” by, ummm, The Temptations, right?
Favorite sexual position? The High Profit Margin
Favorite drink (non-alcoholic)? Good ole’ H2A
Favorite drink (alcoholic)? A red rose wine
Favorite smell? I don’t understand the question
If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Jessica Simpson Color
What’s under your bed? Britney Spears – heh heh
What’s the first thing you think of in the morning? “For all positive integers n, 12 + 22 + ... + n2 = (n)(n+1)(2n+1)/6”
Where is the best place you have ever been? The zoo
Worst place? France
Pet peeves? Being Christina Aguilera, people who judge me based on my looks, people who judge me based on the absolutely idiotic things I say, people who judge me on any other criteria, criteria
What would you say is your best characteristic? My natural charm
Worst characteristic? I don’t know how to spell my husband’s last name
If you could meet someone, dead or alive, who would it be? I’d rather not meet someone who’s dead, so I guess the Pope. Is he dead? I hope not
Do you believe in UFOs? (nodding very methodically) Yes, yes I do
What did you do on your last birthday? I got older, duh
If you could have any job, what would it be? A meteor
What is the most important thing in life? To save the environment from the dolphins
What is your greatest fear? Being thought of as a simpleteen
Have you ever been in love? I love my sweetie Nick – and my fans, but I’m not, like, in love with my fans, because I’m not a . . .what’s those people who marry lots of people? – a moron
What is your motto? “A stitchy time shaves mine”
What would you like to be remembered for? The Nick and Jessica Variety Hour
Other Surveys:
A Sperm Betsy Ross Bryan Fenkart Cleopatra Dr. Seuss Edmund Dudley e.e. cummings Fats Gandhi God Gordon Henry VIII Iago from Othello Jaws The Jolly Green Giant Jose Canseco Madonna Mario Mike Tyson Mr. Potato Head Pele The Phillie Phanatic Pluto Ponce De Leon Superman Tiger Woods The Tooth Fairy