Throughout the years, I’ve seen hundreds of those online surveys where you ‘get to know things about your friends’ in a very obnoxious, large-scale fashion. I thought the idea was great, but who cares about reading about the common layperson? We want to know the intimate details about famous historical figures, pop culture icons, and even fictional characters. That’s where the true dirt is.

Well, be kept in the dark no longer. I’ve been able to amass quite a large collection of these online surveys by famous people throughout the ages. Here are some of the rather stunning results.

Superman
The Phillie Phanatic
Pelé
Betsy Ross
Bryan Fenkart
Madonna
Fats
Pluto
Edmund Dudley
Jose Canseco
Mario
Gandhi
A Sperm
Dr. Seuss
Cleopatra
Mike Tyson
Jaws
e.e. cummings
Tiger Woods
Henry VIII
The Tooth Fairy
Jessica Simpson
The Jolly Green Giant
Iago from Othello
Mr. Potato Head
God Gordon
Juan Ponce de Leon