12. A camera that can take a single flattering picture of themselves

 

11. A lifetime achievement award from the National Enquirer

 

10. Bitchin’ hair extensions

 

9. To get President Obama alone in a room together

 

8. “Chestnuts” roasting on an open fire.  Jack Frost nipping at well… something…  (and by chestnuts I mean infidels, and by Jack Frost I mean a smoking Guido with nice abs)

 

7. Miley Cyrus’ head on a silver platter; Tony Danza’s buns on a cookie sheet

 

6. Sunglasses large enough to double as umbrellas

 

5. To win Dancing with the Stars

 

4. Something with a long shaft that can explode

 

3. A more nurturing relationship with Russian President Vladimir Putin

 

2. Gunpowder, though Lindsey also asked for a rolled up 10 dollar bill with it

 

1. Leopard-print Snuggie


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