12. The ‘{’ symbol: {the parenthesis of the 21st century.}


11. The seemingly endless supply of turkeys on Earth – thank god Thanksgiving tradition didn’t involve a dodo.


10. That you know the difference between lesbianism and a hand grenade


9. The guy who decided that green squash was just a dumb name for it.  Zucchini is way more fun to say.


8. That, no matter how bleak the current financial crisis is, you can always look at a recent line graph of the Dow Jones Industrial Average and pretend it’s a topographical map of the Andes.


7. Rhoda Gemignani, aka Mrs. Rossini- that fun-loving Italian lady who looooved to squeeze Tony Micelli in uncomfortable places.  And of course Tony Danza for acting like he didn’t enjoy it.


6. The Harlem Globetrotters and that amazing winning streak.


5. That Canada invented a day specifically for traveling to Quebec and punching someone in the back of the head.  At least, that’s what I think Boxing Day is for…


4. The Superbowl XXII Champion San Francisco 49ers.  By beating the Bengals we avoided the catastrophic controversy of cooler NFL dance: Super Bowl Shuffle Vs. Ickey Shuffle.


3. Hymen cloning.  And typos.


2. Chong.  Cheech is totally overrated.


1. Despite the existence of centipedes and millipedes, that there aren’t googolpedes (imagine how fast it would be) or monopedes (would it hop?)

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