12. I can’t control what my kid has on her graphing calculator.  That porn was on there when we bought it.

11. There’s no way my kid’s history paper deserved a D.  On The Jersey Shore, Snooki confirmed the thesis that Pilgrims were all over the Roaring 20s. 

10. So, you’re telling me that Pop Rocks SHOULDN’T be the only thing I provide for lunch?

9. I’m sorry, Mr. Danza, I just don’t feel you’re fit to teach Advanced Trigonometry. 

8. Do you mind if I film tonight’s discussion?  No?  Great.  Now can I turn the lights a little lower?  And I’m just going to put on some nice music. 

7.  Poetry is for chumps, unless it’s by Limp Bizkit. 

6. Instead of sending us notes home, can you provide them in interpretive dance?

5. Before we begin, I’d like to introduce you to my attorney, Irving Beans III.

4. That’s not how Oprah would do it.

3. Really?  Your school still has a music program?  That’s cute.

2. If you make my kid put together any kind of diorama I swear to God, I will punch you.

1. Oh, so now it’s a pre-requisite that I have kids in your class before coming?

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